Judgement.

Hello friends and random lurkers on the internet (I see you!).

Happy New Year!

I hope you’ve had some well-needed time off with friends and family, as well as some time with yourselves, to sit down and reflect on another year.

Personally, I had a wild fucking year. One of the wildest to date. I can’t even begin to describe everything that transpired. I guess only I will ever know the full story, and that is ok. What really matters is the outcome — the person I am today as I write all this.

Amidst all the madness this year, I had a lot of time to think. Arguably, too much time…

What follows is the result of that 12-month exploration — some version of a directional north star or a truth. Not the whole truth, nor the final truth, but certainly what feels like great progress at this stage.

This story begins as the clock strikes midnight on 21st February - my birthday.

I’m sitting alone on the couch in my NYC apartment, raising a glass of rum in my honour.

One more year around the sun.

Lots on my mind at this very moment. So far, February has been rather introspective as I’ve been reflecting on seven wild years at Real Vision, which are coming to an end this month, while also pondering my future.

I wrote a long essay in my private journal aptly titled ‘The End of the Beginning’ — It’s the official end of a big and important chapter of my life and the exhilarating and terrifying start of a new one.

Then, I do something unusual for me. Something my closest friends, knowing me, would characterize as crazy…

I pick up a deck of Tarot cards I was recently gifted, shuffle them thoroughly, and draw one card. A card tasked with something rather important — painting a picture of what I should expect from the next 12 months, a period of tremendous change and uncertainty.

Now, before the word ‘insane’ is thrown at me, let’s make one thing clear — I do not believe, in any way, that Tarot cards have any ability to tell your future. Not at all. That being said, I’ve come to appreciate their creative way of prompting the right questions and poking parts of your psyche you thought were well hidden. They are also a great way of having deep conversations with the right people.

As you can imagine, this rational finance guy (yours truly) used to be skeptical about the religion of Tarot. Buuut, I do keep an open mind, and one hazy night in the Netherlands back in 2022 changed my perception, and a more recent morning ritual solidified my view.

Back to my couch in NYC…

The card I picked from the deck is ‘Judgement’ (upright), signifying rebirth, inner calling, and absolution — naked people looking at the sky with their arms outspread as an archangel blows his trumpet looking down.

A quick search in Biddy (the Tarot bible) tells us (emphasis by me):

Hallelujah!

It’s funny to think about that exact moment, sitting here at the end of the year, writing these words. While I appreciated the meaning of the card at the time, I really had no idea what was to come.

The twists and turns, the thrill, the adventure, the fear and loathing, the highest of highs, and the lowest of lows…

At the end of these 12 months, I can only say two things:

1. Fucking hell, what a ride!

2. Thank you for the training! I will forever be a stronger, more self-aware, and more mature human because of this year.

Stepping Stones

There are several years that fundamentally changed me and altered who I am today:

• 2010 - leaving Bulgaria to study in the UK

• 2017 - moving to Cayman

• 2019 - moving to New York

2024 is, without a doubt, one of those years. There is pre-2024 George and post-2024 George (some of my closest friends have already acknowledged that).

If anything, 2024 tops that list in terms of magnitude. I can vaguely remember anything prior to it. Sure, I remember the stories, the moments, the people, but everything feels so distant, so far away.

2024 was so profound that everything prior feels like a lifetime ago…

Ever since I left Bulgaria, I’ve experienced monumental changes in my life, but they were often prompted by ‘the next thing’ — from university to moving to London for work, to getting my dream job and moving to Cayman, to getting promoted and moving to NYC. There was always the next stepping stone — something to grab onto, close my eyes, and make the leap, however big and scary.

14 years of stepping stones, and here we are…

2024 was different. There were no stepping stones (aside from dollars in the bank). The canvas was white. Pure open space. Anything and everything was possible.

Earlier in the year, when I was staying in London, a friend had a mini-panic attack and exclaimed: “I’m freefalling…!”

While I found it funny and endearing, she did have a point, and I learned that the hard way during the year.

When everything is up in the air all at once, and you are contemplating your career, where to live, whether a relationship is right for you, and overall, what to do with your life, the abyss under you opens up, and the fall can be rather long…

You want to figure it all out suddenly. Think your way out of this puzzle. Solve it through sheer mental force. Now. I want it now.

But that’s not how this game works. You don’t have enough information to solve anything. There are no pieces on the chessboard yet, and you are already thinking about the end game.

Or, to use a more relevant poker analogy — the dealer was still shuffling the deck, and I was already thinking about the turn and the river. I needed to see the first few cards before I could start scheming about the future.

In the meantime, when you can’t see more than one move ahead, you focus on that first move and wait for more cards to be turned over.

First order of business — travel, reset, reflect, reconnect with old friends, make new ones, and shock the system with constantly changing environments, people, routines, and perspectives.

I am genuinely astonished at how much came out of this period with the right people, prompts, set, and setting. 

Our brains are good at running simulations — rehashing past events and rehearsing future ones (see Default Mode Network). Escaping our routines allows us to break free from these recursive narratives. You might just be drinking beers with an old friend on a small Indonesian island, silently stargazing in the Australian outback, or having a slow weekend in empty Sofia during the summer, but under the surface, strong forces are at play.

Much of it was captured in prior posts and in the private journal—tens of thousands of words written on trains and planes, at airports, and at random spots in many different countries as external events and internal emotions unfolded.

Writing on the road brings me immense joy, and this whole experience was an absolute bliss. A sort of gonzo journalism where I was both the protagonist, antagonist, and court jester.

And after months of adventures and reflection, both solo and with different groups of friends, all these themes start colliding, and you inevitably start asking yourself a question…a very important question…arguably the only question that matters…

What Do You Want?

I rewatched 'Lost in Translation' on the plane from Sydney to Tokyo. There is this famous scene where Scarlett Johansson’s and Bill Murray’s characters are lying in bed, and she is contemplating her life, and he says:

On the surface, it is so simple, yet so complex once you dig into it. The problem is, you can’t just think your way into answering that question.

The point of having so much freedom in 2024 was to go out and try different things while reflecting on past experiences. You have to internalize it and feel it before you can codify it.

Suppose you can answer the big question broadly and directionally or even outline the contours of the eventual answer. Then, you can start to gently optimize for specific aspects that align with your aspired direction.

In my case, my last chapter was all about my career and my personal exploration (me, me, me). I lived a few months at a time and rode the wave of serendipity (often chaos) wherever it took me. I had the complete freedom to devote myself to work, live in different countries, travel constantly, do whatever I wanted, sleep with whoever I wanted, and not have to answer to anybody (except my boss at work).

It was a thrilling adventure that I actively optimized for, and regretfully, that meant keeping too many people away from my core. This is also why I felt like I had a hole inside of me once it all ended—when something consumes your life for almost a decade, it’s hard to let go of the certainty and purpose you’ve grown accustomed to.

As I look ahead, I refuse to give up on living life to the fullest, but I’m also unwilling to live in managed chaos solely optimized for my own needs.

Ultimately, what I’m looking for in this new chapter boils down to ‘deep, lasting relationships’ and ‘freedom.’

• having the freedom to live the life that I want, wherever I want, surrounded by people I love, and work on projects that engage me to the fullest

• finding the right partner and creating phenomenal memories

• deepening relationships with friends and family while also building new, lasting relationships for this and future chapters

Privileges

I introduced two fun mental exercises with friends this year (the second one will be revealed later).

Late one night over too many pickleback shots in my NYC apartment, my go-to ‘Welcome to New York,’ I asked my two very good friends visiting from London: “Imagine someone deposited $1m in your accounts tomorrow. What would you do?” (for some of you reading this, you might want to add a 0 to make it more relatable)

After some deliberation, it became apparent that none of our lives would fundamentally change. Speaking for myself, I would continue to eat the same food, drink the same alcohol, wear the same clothes (light wardrobe refresh aside), spend time with the same people, go to the same parties, travel as much as I already travel, and overall live mostly the same life. Sure, I will pay off a Bulgarian mortgage, fly business, stay in nicer hotels, and indulge in a few contained shopping sprees (no watches), but that’s it. Most of the money will go across investment accounts.

Importantly, that money will not reduce my desire to work on stuff. Freedom (for me) does not mean a lack of responsibilities and projects. If anything, I want to be much busier than I’ve been lately. I’ve noticed that too much free time gives the mind free rein to overthink and overanalyze. This is definitely a nice feature during a sabbatical, but then it can get toxic. The line between productive reflection and mental masturbation is rather delicate.

Of course, the pendulum can easily swing to the other extreme as we try to fill every minute of the day with work and social escapism so that we don’t have to think about what’s bothering us.

And while on the topic of work, let me just state that I fucking miss accomplishing something really hard with a team of people I enjoy working with. Having done a few months as an individual contributor in a relaxed environment, I can safely say that’s not my vibe. I do my best work in a team of people with a collective goal — tackling the problem from every angle, the creative brainstorming, the productive arguments.

I miss the energy of a well-oiled team. So good. One more thing I felt deeply this year and am optimizing for going forward.

—

Something else I felt as I moved around the world was just how modular life had become. It’s a set of Lego blocks that can be assembled any way you like. Gone are the days of “I live in city X, so I also work in that city, and my partner and most of my friends are also there.” And if that’s actually what you want, then fantastic. Good for you for knowing what you want and going for it!

I’m saying something rather trivial for the high net-worth crowd, but this life was a mirage until recently for most other people. Well, the world has drastically changed, and everyone can mold their own little cute life based on their preferences and the trade-offs they are willing to make.

To illustrate the point…in the summer, I emailed a VC while boarding a flight from Porto to Lisbon, then talked to him two days later and wrote a 2,000-word case study before a music festival in Lisbon. Then, I continued doing work for him later in the summer from Sofia. Then, while at Lake Tahoe, I drove to meet him in San Francisco. I met him again weeks later in NYC to finalize the project, which I am now working on from Sofia while paying rent in NYC and Sofia. And here’s the kicker — this life is actually cheaper than being full-time in NYC as a single guy.

It’s all relative, and it doesn’t have to make sense to other people. It’s your cute little life, perfectly suited to what you are optimizing for. (I still have more Lego blocks to add to mine)

Speaking of trade-offs, hypotheticals, and different ways to construct a life, I’ve been thinking about the exact opposite of what I’m looking for, and it goes something like this:

• I move to Sydney or Melbourne and find a corporate job. I have to go to the office regularly. I bust my ass for a few years and am now a VP making AUD 300-400k, which is very well-paid for the region. I start surfing and get a great tan.

• Outcome: I make new friends and build a new life, but ultimately, I leave most of my previous life behind. I’m so busy and far away from Europe and the US that I spend most of the year in East Asia and Oceania.

  Importantly, while I am well-off in Australia and the region, my salary evaporates after 40% in taxes, an exorbitant mortgage (or rent), AND an exchange rate (vs. EUR or USD) that makes my currency equivalent to the Bulgarian Lev. I also don’t have as many investment opportunities available to me, so I lock up most of my savings in properties and go into debt.

People, time zones, geography, currencies, languages, opportunities, taxes, child care, culture, nature, weather, and much more are just Lego blocks to play around with and build your unique life. There is no right or wrong as long as you are happy with the outcome. :)

If I were optimizing solely for my career, then staying firmly in New York might still be a decent bet. But having done the NYC shuffle a few times and seen what else is possible around the world, the trade-off seems less and less appealing.

So, I made the next obvious move on the board, signed a lease in Sofia, and built my second official home base (NYC <> Sofia).

This setup brings me immense comfort and stability at this stage in the game. One less thing to worry about, which gives me the freedom and confidence to be bolder with other decisions in my life.

Also, If I’m optimizing for, among other things, finding the right partner, I need to build a life that is welcoming to someone else. I can’t continue jumping with my suitcase from one Airbnb to another in one of my home bases. Sure, I can live across several countries, but I should build homes in each to signal, “Hey, I live here for parts of the year. This is my home.” It’s a sign of maturity and security. And if I find the right someone in that country, I can optimize the other variables so I can spend more time with them.

Piece by piece, it’s slowly coming together…a cute little new life.

In the end, it’s been a good year. No. It’s been a great year — not an easy one, but ultimately a magnificent one, and, as I said at the start, “Thank you for the training.”

Here’s the scorecard (not in order of importance)…

1. Mind.

   • It’s been a rollercoaster, even for me, who tends to be very balanced. I’m in a good place now, and I can sense getting stronger by the day.

     As my mother told me years ago, “You are a cockroach—they can spray you with poison and fire, and you will not relent.” Love you, mama.

   • I danced with the monkeys multiple times this year. I looked them in the eyes and threw poop right back at them. As they say, “An uncovered issue is half an issue,” which is certainly true for some parts of my life I delved into.

     But, importantly, the issue is not resolved until you’ve dealt with it. Many people proudly wear their neuroses like badges of honour and use them as an excuse for their inexcusable behaviour. Don’t be like them. Hurt people tend to hurt other people, and I, for one, refuse to participate in that game (or engage with those people). Fight the fight.

2. Body.

   • I’m in the best physical shape of my life. I am stronger, leaner, and more flexible than ever. My sleep is getting better and better (if I don’t drink or overthink).

3. Money.

   • I am also in the best financial position of my life, even though I haven’t worked full-time in almost a year — the epitome of freedom.

4. People.

   • I spent A LOT of time with some of my closest people, and my relationships with them have moved to a completely new level of camaraderie, trust, vulnerability, and openness.

   • I am much better at communicating (professionally, socially, and romantically) — “This is what I can and cannot do; this is what I like and don’t like; this is what I can tolerate, and this simply doesn’t work for me.” Simple.

   • Importantly, I barely feel the silent terror of walking into a room with many people I don’t know. Poof…gone.

     The fear of chatting up strangers…gone.

     The fear of having difficult conversations…gone.

5. Places.

   • 140,000+ km across Bulgaria, Switzerland, Austria, Ibiza, London (+ Cotswolds), NYC, LA, SF, Lake Tahoe, Nevada, Australia, Bali, Lombok, Tokyo, Portugal…

     Genuinely, I can and happily will continue to visit all of these places for the rest of my life.

     • The most unique? Japan, for sure — a different universe.

     • The most bizarre and wild? Australia (the rumours are true).

     • Where I’d live in the future? Portugal — it felt like the best parts of some of my fav locations all in one.

   • The words of that Japanese grandma are still ringing in my ears, “Isn’t it lonely traveling alone?”

     It depends. Solo time is definitely needed. Experiencing a majestic sunrise or sunset alone can be very meditative. That said, after so many of them this year in some epic locations, I can safely say that the ones shared with one or a few special people remain undefeated. 🫠 

6. Fun.

   • Oh man…where do I even begin…two ski trips (Verbier and Lech); diving in some of the best spots in the world (Australia and Indonesia); camping in the Australian outback; Burning Man + California road trip with two RVs and 11 old and new friends; sleepless long weekend in Ibiza; small festival at the Bulgarian sea side…on and on…

   • Soooo much good music this year, but it’s worth mentioning a few highlights: WhoMadeWho sunrise @ Burning Man; Dixon at sunset on a boat in NYC; Marcel Dettmann playing house (as opposed to techno) in the light rain in Lisbon; Adriatique all night long @DC10 Ibiza.

Fundamentally, it really isn’t rocket science, but we make it more complicated than it needs to be. When we look at the regrets of the dying, there are some very common aspects people wish they optimized better during their lives:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Optimize carefully, friends. But don’t over-optimize.

There is nothing wrong with going with the flow. As my Hinge profile says: “A random fact I love is…the randomness and serendipity in life.” And there is a lot of randomness and serendipity in the flow that I have personally benefited from.

Just know when each flow starts and when to end it. ;)

See you out there. As we continue…✌️ 

G.

P.S. The second mental exercise I mentioned is what I call “alternative realities”…

Lately, I’ve become quite conscious about forks in the road — moments in time when a decision, error, or pure chance completely alters your future path.

Grab a glass of wine, look back on the last few months or years, and think about events that clearly opened an alternative door your life decided to go through.

The point is not to lose sleep over “what ifs” but to reflect on the randomness of life, appreciate how little is in your control sometimes, and be grateful for what you currently have.

And as I said, only a “glass of wine” time…everything else is mental masturbation.

Cheers!